Retraction

Yesterday, I wrote a very bitter, pissed off, and psychotic maybe post. I was upset and I needed to vent and kick someones ass. Anyway as a girl, and most girls will understand, when we get hurt its hard to move on and just forget. Guy on the other hand, get hurt, move on, and forget. So I had alot of stored up rage at guys. Not to mention I kind of just wanted to hurt B for having hurt me. We got in a fight and I wanted to vent. He reads my blog so I thought turning our love story into something more of I don’t give a damn about you, would I don’t know piss him or make him see I was upset at him. I know my ideas are all wrong. But what can I say, I’m a stubborn, vengeful, and bratty. Anyway shall I write it, the correct way the ways things actually happened.

The Guy that Broke Me -

Lets call him “Wes,” was a guy the guy I had dated on and off again for 8 months right. However, unlike yesterdays post the truth was I did not use him as a game or a toy. I really really liked him. I was rather infatuated with him. I was 14 years old and he was older, good looking, and a skater boy. I thought he was completely cool, and I was young, shallow, and stupid. We online dated, and when a girl from my school got involved for some weird reason sense I was not her friend nor did I really know her. She came between us and we were broken up at the moment. We dated again even through but it was harder then before and that time when we did broke up. He was cruel and completely mean to me. He broke my heart to smithereens. I was devastated, but I soon found out it was just him getting back at me because of all the stuff the girl had told him about me. So when I moved on with the Look-a-like, I was in a very dark place. I felt like I needed a change, So I dated a guy, just not be single and feel depressed about what had happened. While also not getting attached. It worked a total of a week I was not that type of girl. The Look-a-like guy was not very into me. I was a girl that wanted a guy to actually want to spend time to me, and he wanted a girl for what teenage boys want girls for. I spent very little time with him. So a week after dating him, I got back to hanging out in this place. I knew alot of people and friends that hung out there.

The North Star -

I was there and he was surrounded by girls. He was nice and caring trying to tell them he wasn’t interested. I was very interested in him and getting to know him. So I did, we started hanging out and spending time together. The more I spoke to him, the more I found myself wanting him. I found myself making time to speak to him and be with him. I spoke to him so often my feelings seem to overflow for him. I waited for him to acknowledge me and say he liked me. Though he had a girlfriend and being a gentleman that he is, he would never say it as he was still with his girlfriend and he knew I had a bf. So one Sunday I told him, “I like you, a lot, more then a friend.” That is when he said it back and we left our bad relationships and starting dating and we were in love. I have to admit it has not been easy being together sense then till now. But I do truly love him. I loved him sense back then till now. I know I’m difficult even irrational however I just love him so much and maybe I sometimes feel like his better then me and I’m just not ever going to be good enough for him and one day he will realize and just leave me.

So I apologize for being such a bitch.

Story of a bitch

How to move on?

I have had a bf sense I was 12. Not the same bf but I have never been single longer then ah…. maybe 2 months. I always felt like I need the special attention or treatment that came with being someone’s gf. None of my relationships lasted to long. Mostly because I wanted any guy and any guy would do, or so I thought. After a week or two I would make them break up with me. Rarely would I dump someone. I would go as far as cheating to hurt the guy so he would dump me. Lol, I could be a raging bitch. Of course sometimes I’d get dumped just because the guy didn’t like me. But that was ok because the guy didn’t matter all that matter was the feeling of being in a relationship. As I grew up, I learned, and I found out what it was I wanted in a relationship. Of course there was a guy that taught me this. I was dating this pretty nice guy. He broke me heart. Although not because I loved him. I don’t think I really gave a damn about him. He was just convenient. When he got boring, we would break up. Then two weeks later when I couldn’t find a guy as appealing as him or he couldn’t find someone or just for some reason or another. We would get back together. It went like that for 8 months, 3 weeks of dating, 2 weeks single and then back together. He broke my heart because when it ended it ended really bad and had me looking at myself and what a bratty little bitch I was. My words not his. He called me a rag doll, always there when he was bored.  But I did the same to him. I was with other guys when I wasn’t with him, so when we broke I saw me. I didn’t change my routine but I think I got worst. I got a new bf. He was cute. He looked like Ryan Gosslin in the notebook. My loyalties were out and I was worst then ever. I didn’t give a damn about him or his feelings. So one week from dating him. I was flirting with other guys. Guys love a girl that is unattainable. So two weeks of flirting I cheated on him and then dumped him. I think he cried. I starting dating this guy. He was ok, cute, and he had had a girlfriend. Guys might like unattainable things but girls love it. He was also new and hot stuff. All these girls were always around fighting for his attention. So I had to have him. Always wanting to one up everyone else. So as all the girls threw themselves at him. I mocked them and basically told them of for him. I acting uninterested and like he was not worth me. He fell for it hook line and sinker. It was kinda pathetic that he couldn’t see that it was all just to get him to notice me. We became friends, if that’s what you call flirting. His gf was a pain and he complained about her. I played along saying oh poor you, you should work it out, and slowly also making him fall for my sweet innocent side. I didn’t give a damn about him or his gf. I just wanted a new toy and one better then everyone else’s. So everyone would get all jealous. It worked and I got the guy. I was attracted to him in the most basic sense. I hadn’t got to really know the guy. Though that never really mattered. I told him I liked him, guys love that! A girl in charge knowing what she wants. He fell for it and me. Now he was mine. But as I got to know him. I didn’t like him. We dated and said I love you. We were a good couple. But he didn’t have what I wanted anymore. He was like the rest and I was bored. So I did everything I could to push him away to test him. I did not love him and I was a raging bitch to him. He stuck around! I was shocked, disgusted that someone would put up with it. I did everything to put him off. I did not understand. I said and acted horribly. I even did things so he would change. He did it, he stayed, he changed to what he thought I wanted him to be or act like. Though not in that kiss ass way that guys do, but in the “you don’t want to say that? Your weird but w.e no big deal” sort of way. How could he put up with me?! But he did and then I was the one falling hook line and sinker for this obscure guy that put up with me…not that I changed my behavior because what can I say “I’M A BITCH!” Now its been 5 years and 8 months together with this weird guy. I regret many things and I’ve grown and changed because of him. However I regret most having changed him. So now when I ask him to just be himself like that he says no because he thinks I don’t like it . Though I do like it I was just trying to get him to dump me, back when he ment very little to me. Love doesn’t happen just like that. I had a heart of ice and he melted. He stuck with me. I thought guys were all the same and they will all leave you eventually……. Just like my biological father.

Life as I know it

Days grow long and nights grow short. My insufferable life grows before my eyes into deeper despair. I wish that for once something great would happen . All I see is that none of my dreams will happen, not that I know what they are. My mother wishes so much on me and truly I think the more her hopes for me are pushed onto me the deeper I fall into despair. I want nothing more then serenity and peace. So much so that death seems rather welcoming . I would never cause that pain on my family but they don’t understand that depression is rearing its ugly head around the corner and I can no longer continue the way things are. I feel numb and empty . I do not wish to be one of those people who works and lives because its just wat people do. I don’t want some stupid common job. I don’t want to be another slave of the work force. All of this is things I just do not believe in. Working to pay someone to allow me to live is just not for me. I don’t get how people do but then again most fear death so living and making the servitude tolerable is the best they have . Though for low middle class or the poverty class, is children and family all that keeps you going? Don’t you get that only 1% of your children if that will ever amount to something ? Even then it’ll be a hard ass road, is it even worth it? Not to mention the chances of your child just being middle class is 60% is that exceptable just because no their slightly better off then you? So the statistics are off a bit. But you get what I’m saying. These things are not worth it to me. So I rather just die slowly at peace in the woods or in the sea. Does no one get how I feel?

Diets, Eating, Exercise, Size

The desire to write grows with writing. — Desiderius Erasmus

So I wanted to write again for what you may ask well I don’t know but I just wanted to write.

My new years resolution is to lose weight.

Its a depressing resolution because every time I eat it feels shameful and the more time I spent chilling out in front of my computer I feel like I’m a loser and failing. So over all I believe that’s why being fat is so much easier. But see I’m a competitor. I have to win at anything I really do. I love competitions and I want to win against my self doubt. So I’ve done the math and think that exercising and count the calories I burn on like the treadmill every day is good. My goal is to burn 3,500 in one day. It seems a hard thing to do, seeing as I’m not athletic or an exercise person but I haven’t tried and just wanting to reach that goal is pretty I don’t know motivating or challenging. So I might start low but eventually work my way to 3,500 a day. We will see.

Also I’m not doing a diet. Personally I hate diets and their ridiculous to begin. You can’t eat this or this or that. So basically I can’t eat anything I like and as soon as I do the diet will be forgotten and I will return to my old eating habits. So for anyone out there. NO DIETS! Instead a life style change.  I will watch what I eat and write it down along with how much of it and the time I ate it. To keep tracking of your eating makes you acknowledge whether its about no exercise or if its your eating and you should cut down or not. I will also not restrict what I eat but just eat less of it. Like I love cheese burgers, so maybe still eat a cheeseburger but cut the bad things out or not eat all of the burger. See if you eat too much its about retraining your body to be accustomed to get smaller amounts and shrinking your tummy down, not the fat but your actual stomach. Anyway no extremes, eat what you want but watch what you eat and eat less then usual.

Some basics to begin with  that I’m doing-

• Eat fiber in the morning – things such as cereal or oatmeal or such – Everyday whether you like it, I hate milk so yeah what a pain
• Eggs – Do Not Eat The Yolk! – Its yum, sure but it holds a lot of cholesterol and fat
• Less Soda/Pop/Coke – Too much sugars and caffeine, one once in a while is fine not everyday this includes diet drinks too
• Drink more Green Tea – The antioxidants are good and no more pop means you might need more caffeine, healthier option
• Drink Water – Most people eat when really their thirsty and can’t tell the difference, when hungry drink some water see if it helps
• Snacks are good! – Nuts, Granola Bars, fruits anything healthy is good – Eating more often through out the day increases your metabolism

I’ll think of more! or Suggest some more!

Here’s what I have so far in my book

Day 1 – Jan. 1st, 2012

Start Weight -xxxxxxxxxxx (sorry but embarrassing, maybe when I’ve lost weight and I’m happy about it)

Goal Weight - xxxxxxxxxxx

List of Food & Exercise & Times

• 1 Bowl of lucky charm cereal – 1:20 pm (I slept it!)
• Ham – 3:30pm
• Various amounts of tomatoes, broccoli, and carrots with ranch – 4:30pm

COMMENT

LEX – 8:28PM

If I’m completely honest..

I haven’t written in ages because frankly no one reads my blog. Please comment on how you have people to read your blog.

 

Also my life is either extremely boring or a roller coaster that has completely lost control.

 

So many things have happened and I don’t feel like talking about it.

But I should talk about it about how I feel about all of the stuff thats boiling just below my calm surface and how I am suffering inside. Suicide has become a great option right now. Lol, not that I would do it, but it would take the pain away. Oh sweet sweet death. Anyway lets not get our morbid on.

Though I think most people would love to hear about my rage that burns and wants to burst out of me.

The thing is I just don’t feel comfortable with it even online. Being judged for your thoughts in person is hard enough but to have people do it online, who don’t know you and you think you can be completely honest to is tough. Which is why I might want my blog to be read alot by a billion people but I’m content with a random individuals that clicked me by accident.

How do I expand myself to let loose when I’m still that girl hiding in the corner? AND thats just in a room with just me in it all by myself. You can imagine how am like in a room with people in it. A puddle of shakes and nerves. Just bad!

 

I think I just need to meet more people to take this little depressed individual and turn me into a fun girl lol.

 

COMMENT

 

LEX

OH HAPPY NEW YEARS LOL

Puppy Shopping

We had to put my dog to sleep about a year ago, because of old age. She was the best and perfect. We miss her and having a dog thats for us girls. We have “AL” but his crazy and likes only my dad. We want another dog. One just like “K” that looks and acts like, that basically is her. Its just because we loved her so much and miss her. It has been over a year, and believe me I’ve been looking.  Its going to be two years now and I just being feeling lonelly, sad, and missing her. So starts the puppy search for the perfect dog.

I didn’t know finding a dog would be so hard! I have no clue were to look and how to find the perfect dog. I looked the humaine society, pet stores, petfinder, craigslist, adoptapet.com, puppy buying sites. NOTHING! I got nothing. We almost got this adorable little terrier but we got beat by someone ahead in the adoption process. So we were sad, and disappointed. We stopped looking for a while. Now we’re looking again. We find a woman selling cockapoo puppies that look like “K” and were so cute and fluffy. But yet again someone beat us to the punch. The woman contacted me back and forth and then goes sorry but I don’t have the girl puppy anymore. WHAT?! Did you think I contacted to learn about a dog you already found someone else that would buy it.

Now I can’t seem to get a break. Theres no tibetan terriers in Ohio, if so their rare and expensive. I miss K I’m not trying to replace her, I just want some part of her. Another dog will help me move on, but we haven’t found our perfect pup. Maybe we’re just not meant to have one just yet. Either way it makes so sad. I miss her, I remember how she went crazy when you got home, the sad faces she’d make to get people food, how she always was a good girl and stayed in our yard even though it wasn’t fenced. She is a dog however and she did sometimes sneak away. We were always worried but she was always fine. She was a smart and cunning. She would sneak off when she knew no one was paying attention to her. In our old house she’d sneak of into this wooded area were she rolled in the mud and she’d come back dripping in mud. In our current home, she’d sneak to places were she would get taken on a walk each day and she knew her dog pals lived.

She didn’t mind being dressed up or being pulled by front palls to dance. She always protected us, but she was never an aggressive dog. She barked when she knew someone was pulling into the driveway or at the door. She always licked toes and liked to pull on things like her rope. She had lots of toys but she never tore them or ripped or dirtied them. She always came when called and she always snuggled. She loved sitting on the top back pillows of the couch, or laying on the carpet near someone. She was scared of men, because she came from an abusive home, but she opened up after being with us. She perferred being with the girls but she still loved my dad. She was scared of thunder and lightning so she always hid under the bed or behind a couch. She might have loved us kids but she always slept with the parents at the end of their bed. She was a bad girl when we got her, she’d rip and chew things, and wasn’t potty trained. But she learned quickly and then she was perfect! She loved the snow, she could walk on it and she was very graceful. Though it didn’t stop her from having snow booties. (because the snow stuck to her fair near her paws,) She could run circles a million times, and never be tired. She was a blur of fur and paws when she did run, and she could probably do laps around big dogs. She wasn’t scared to take on big dogs, and she was always friendly with other dogs. She was my princess, and I miss her. No other dog, can compare.

 

 

RIP Kelly

Forever Past

Hello, Its been truly forever sense I have come on and done a new post.

Luckily for you I am bored and in the mood to talk/type. Yay!

But what to talk about I don’t know. I could talk about my life and whats going on. The drama and situations of my life however are not really to share or that entertaining to share. Sorry, I haven’t decided. I’ll give an update though small just to begin with. I’m 20 years, not going to college, and not working. So basically I’m doing nothing right now with my life besides being a lazy arse. I haven’t decided what to do with myself, part of it having to deal with the fact that I’m just not sure I even want to. Its sad, depressing, complicated, confusing, and personal thing that I’m going through. I’m dealing with it slowly, and I wish I could faster, but I have no answers. That is as much as an update as I want to give.

I have so many other things that I wanted to talk about, but at the moment my head is just empty. I wanted to maybe review things, or discuss current topics, maybe even say how happy and entertaining Natalie makes me feel and wishing I could be like her and find something like vlogging for her for me. I have gotten many ideas about peoples lives and career choices but none of them are for my own. I just don’t know anymore. Its almost Christmas, and I feel so depressed and torchered. I’m not happy, and I don’t know how to fix it or what to do. I just repeat myself and go in circles.

 

THINKING OF WHAT TO WRITE AND I CAN’T! LEAVE A COMMENT OR ANSWER OR SOMETHING.

I MAY NOT BE GOOD AT MY OWN ADVICE BUT I CAN HELP YOU WITH YOURS.

Twilight Saga Review

To explain “New Moon” the film, you not only must compare it to the books but to the style and praise of the previous film.

Disclaimer: I am not a critic, nor a genius, nor have I ever written a review. These are just my thoughts on the film. Just me talking about the pros and the cons. If for any reason you feel this doesn’t meet your standards then stop. I am just a fan of the books sense they’ve come out. I have read the books instantly as they came out after discovery the first novel Twilight from a friend. I read it before anyone had gone Vampire crazy, and before New Moon came out. So I have liked the novels a long time. Don’t get me wrong though, as much as I am satisfied with the plot line of the most of the novels I find the author disappointing.

The Author: Stephenie Meyer came and went like J.K Rowling. The author wrote a great story idea but the writing itself was nothing special. There are writing mistakes an experienced author would not make. Stephenie Meyer’s works aren’t master pieces by any standard of literary work. She got this far as J.K. has because she gave the public a nice plot line that made readers drool over pure romance. The same way that Romeo & Juliet are still read in modern times though not modern whatsoever. Yet, the author of Twilight progressively got worst. Lacking in keeping up with the true story she had started with and progressively developing into an almost different story by her fourth book. Change occurred as money in her wallet developed. The later books came solely for the money. After all she did say it herself that she only meant to write two novels and she ended up with four. Most of all I lost my respect entirely of her. Due to the fact that she  personally wrote a letter on her website telling fans of her distaste at the manuscript of Midnight Sun being released online by one of her people and basically telling the readers punishments will happen for it by her not finishing the novel and releasing the draft on her website for all eyes. This action of so outwardly blaming her loyal fans of which some refused to read it even though they could. Shows the fact of how power-hungry she has become to lose track that these people  are devoted to supporting any action taken by her then to just be kicked in the gut for having done absolutely nothing. Plus, it was clearly her fault for the release for trusting the wrong people.

Twilight: My review of twilight the novel. I give it five stars. The characters felt real, relate-able, and consistent. The writing was neither completely poor nor amazing. It was very average like when a friend ask you to read something they wrote. It was properly written and is definitely for a young person that could not acknowledge mistakes. It was written rather childishly, like an adolescent wrote it, which makes it in essence easier to relate to Bella. Although Stephenie Meyer says it was written for  older crowd like individuals like herself, Twilight would not cut it. Most adults would not totally dismiss it, yet it would not have had as great a turn out as it had with the young adult readers. Overall, it is by far the best novel of the Twilight Saga. This is very bad for the rest of the books because they cannot meet up to the standards of the first novel.

New Moon: This novel is clearly the worst of the four novels to some and to others its just seems like a small stepping stone. This novel feels like it was a filler episode in the series.  It filled in some gaps and brought in some ideas for the future books but over all I feel it was a waste of time expect for a few expectations. If the novel had just contained the first bit with Edward and summarized Jacob’s developing character and had the final chapters of the novel it would be better. Basically keep the beginning, the end, and shorten the middle  a lot then this novel might just be ok. Reading this I just felt like get on with the point of the story already, I get it shes depressed move on already, and Jacob is ok but his no Edward. The thing is Edward made Twilight big no matter how you see it and New Moon containing very little Edward is well boring.

Eclipse: This book should have been the last one. It solves the resolution that had started in the first novel almost completely. Though something would need to be added to make this the end and make it amazing instead it wasn’t the last one. The novel seemed to drag on in the middle like New Moon yet it contained some more interesting facts. The end was thrilling, the beginning is forgetful because I literally can’t recall the beginning. Eclipse was nothing special, it was better than the second but still could not compare to the first. Most readers that I spoke to feel that the Bella everyone had fallen in love with in Twilight and people could relate to had become someone utterly different. I get that characters in novel can grow up and change to but this was a radical attitude change in the series. It just felt like a different person with the same name.

Breaking Dawn: By far the worst of the books in the series to most. This novel has the same character ideals of same names, vampires, werewolves, and fight for good. However this novel seems almost unrelated to the rest to the series. The main characters seem almost like strangers to fans of the series. The actions and plot line of the story are just out-of-place with the rest of the series that most people are disgusted to call Breaking Dawn the end of the Twilight series. This book is entirely like a filler episode to the climax. Then as the reader reaches the climax disappointment is waiting. Some of the ideas or passages of the novel are what the fans of Twilight had been waiting to see, yet with the personality change of characters, mainly Bella, made those passage unbearable to enjoy fully. The beginning plays with the exact answers to  that of the readers questions of  “what would happen if this happened.” The middle didn’t really make sense and seemed to be implemented for a shock effect. The end was a the biggest fail and disappointment for readers looking for a little more action.

Twilight the film: Disappointment. Comprehension that the novel can’t literally be brought to life but it was painful to watch almost. The acting by Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson was horrible. Neither of them can properly act. This is no surprise sense Catherine Hardwicke tends to favor actors and not properly look for actors that can act. The effects in the film were unimpressive and lacked realism. A lot of the details that made the novel famous were left out. Scenes were added that just wasted time in the movie and were pointless. The camera work was done poorly and overall failed in properly symbolizing what the novel was all about. Twilight basically had been butchered to shreds for fans of the novel.

New Moon the film: In comparison to Twilight, the film, New Moon was amazing. The effects were much smoother, there were more of them, the camera angles were nice, and it properly symbolized what the Twilight Saga is about. The actors of the first film were kept and brought down the movie. Due to the fact the worst actors in the film are the lead actors. However one lead actor stands out from the rest. Taylor Lautner was amazing. His acting skills carried the film and made the character Jacob look outstanding. Compared to the novel in which fans didn’t like not having as much of Edward in the film I feel better not having Robert Pattinson on-screen. His acting was literally a joke and Kristen Stewart is so emotionless and seems more like versions of  Keanu Reeves. The film kept very close to the novel, but the film brought the novel to life were the novel had failed. The fail was much more entertaining and accomplished in the areas that novel lacked. It had a much more concrete ideas of romance between Edward and Bella. It brought out the feelings of the novel while still being able to introduce the added plot-line of the werewolves and the Volturi. In the end it was a great film. It was better than Twilight the film and New Moon the novel.

Eclipse/Breaking Dawn the films: As the Twilight Saga rages through the media, I hope success on the future films, and wish for certain actors to get some talent, while the rest of the cast stays gifted in their roles. Much appreciation to the actors that play….

Jacob, Charlie, Cullens (Carlisle, Esme, Emmette, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice!), the Wolf Pack.

(If this doesn’t make sense I haven’t slept this a quick blog. A quick 1554 word count blog~   )

Maybe a Part 2 later.

Horoscopes

So today’s horoscope says this…

Gemini

Getting through the day may be tougher than you thought it would be — especially if some rather distressing news arrives. Just don’t try to avoid the situation. It won’t work, so be brave, meet it head on and deal with it. That means no calling in sick to work, no asking to leave early and no dragging yourself through the day pouting. Be brave, be meticulous and take care of business like the mature, responsible grownup you are.

Really grown up? Me? Damn it! Yes, I did think it would be easy seems it won’t my darling family will object to that. Deal with it? I won’t I’m having a party and no one is coming. Deal?! Hah…..

Updates or Disasters

Excerpt: Another day as another year goes by.

Hey,

Long time no see… Updates? Not many. This whole year has been odd to say the least. Its my senior year and I’m graduating, as such drama and lots of it. The best time of your life is high school. Ha, yeah right! The worst time of your life is in high school. Its suppose to be a fabulous year of many deeds and yet its not. Its filled with pressure, drama, and resentment. See, now that I’m graduating I wish I had done a lot of things that I didn’t do. Its the end of my youth its upsetting. I wish what most don’t. I like being the baby! I like having people fuss over me, and take care of me. I don’t do work and I’m selfish and lazy. Growing up, sucks! It means that you can no longer depend on your parents. It means all those annoying things they did for you, you have to do. Please, don’t wish to grow up. It isn’t really about being selfish and lazy. Its just that the things you could get away with youth, the memories, and complete ignorance of the world I wish. Life’s a bitch, and to growing up means you have to deal with this. Having been a youth, I know that I’d prefer my ignorance of all the horrid, vile, and despicable things that happen in the world. Another thing is my era, my generation is well doomed. The economy seems to be crashing and as the negative person I am I believe we are at a high risk of another Great Depression or War World III. Not only that but depletion of resources and increase in disease, is well scary, think of “Children of Men” the movie. So I’m really discouraged in becoming an adult as all this occurs. Plus, I just don’t feel like I’m prepared for it. I know I’m whining, but can’t help what you are.

I was going to discuss a serious topic, but I lost my mind. Literally, I don’t remember what I was going to say. YEESH!!

I’ll see you all tomorrow maybe. An update a day? That would be sweet if I wasn’t the lazy type of person, that I am.

LOOK

Marked 01 – PC Cast

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Novels Fiction ebook horror

Is the corp…

Is the corporation LIN slow or what? Why should Time Warner pay them more?

I mean is it just me, because the dispute between LIN and Time Warner is ridiculous. Why should Time Warner pay them more even if it is a little bit of money out of their pocket?

Ok, so for me in Ohio its branded as

CW or WWHO

, its basic cable. Cable that if you had no cable company you could still watch because its like 1 of 8 channels that is on for free.

Free, remember that

. So they want to get paid by cable corporations for them airing their already free channel.

My opinion is why should they get paid if its airing for free? I say just when you want to watch the channel unplug the TV and use an antenna. Oh yeah Time Warner also tells you to do that themselves, while giving away antennas to their customers, during this “black out.” That’s what people are calling it. If you don’t want to do that, you could always watch the episodes on the computer because CW shares their programming on their site. Still not happy? Its probably illegally by other people on youtube upload the episodes. Its illegal but it is not like you put the footage on the internet, you didn’t download it, you went to a site and it was there…I’m getting side tracked I’ll discuss the illegal copy right issue after my LIN argument.

I just don’t understand, they’re trying to get their “viewers” to switch from Time Warner to Dish. Going as far as to make a contract where you get $50 “incentive” for switching, which is not bad. But all this hassle for a free channel. My opinion is I don’t side with either side because LIN is being greedy and so is Time Warner. Why should people pay for free service? If LIN doesn’t like it remove their channel from the free airwaves and create a pay to see online programming viewing thing. Things are expensive and I understand the value of a dollar, I don’t want to pay more even if it is a small amount for my cable service. Worst I don’t want to pay more for a channel I barely watch, except for Gossip Girl, and a channel that I can get for free. I also don’t want to switch.

The channel over all is no great lose for me. I can rely with it being online. It creates a space for a new channel to air. Its not a mayor lose for Time Warner. Its ridiculous LIN cannot be compared to the size of the Time Warner Cable corporation. Overall this money dispute would only lead more viewers to turn their backs to it and move on to a new channel. Plus, the companies in charge of the programs might even decide to remove their programming from that channel to another channel due to customer availability and lose of ratings. I think they just screwed themselves.

But I get it you need money to live, especially to live well, and by well I mean to succeed in life. However, the company is doomed because they don’t have no control and no power. Worst is that they aren’t getting paid because their channel is FREE, which is all their doing. They could have succeed if they had stayed friendly with all instead of being greedy. See they get paid for airing their programming, and for airing the commercials. They get paid for that stuff, and its not too shabby. But they got a head of themselves. Before they went on strike for money, they should have had high ratings like those of channels that do get paid and aren’t free networks. Examples of are those of Disney, MTV, E!, and others.

Basicly What I Am Saying To LIN is:

Stop fighting for a ridiculous reason, and get a hold of yourselves. Don’t ask Time Warner for money you aren’t going to get it until your important, which your not. Behave and slowly take over the ratings then hit them low for the money.

Do you…?

Do you feel like the world, the sun, everything revolves around you?

It watches your steps commenting, yet seeking more in your actions.

You can’t help being human and thinking your the center ofattention and wanting more.

I am human.

—————————————-

I love the way I think that everyone is watching me,
And yet I don’t want to be seen by anyone.
Hidden in my own dispare and joy.
I like being me
And if people see that I’m me,
And not them,
Not what people want me as.
Why should I fear it?

I want to be that girl,
That you smile at from across the room,
And you can’t keep your eyes off.
But I also want to be that girl,
That you can’t see invisible,
And hidden.

Even though I’m standing their infront of you
Because if you see that then you know
That I can be anything
And anyone I chose to be.

My dream guy would not be Edward Cullen.
My dream guy would be you.
In your mistakes and mishaps just you,
My beloved.

You know when I think back to our best moments.
I think of you and me
Just talking.

For four hours, five minutes, days.
It doesn’t matter where, when, or how long.
As long as its just you and me.

You mean everything to me.

- Lex

Thoughts

Going to school! I’m in love with oh oh oh sexy vampire by fright rangers. I’m 17 turning 18 and life has only made me feel like dying. I love you all! I miss Barry and when people ask me about him, I don’t know what to say. I like the calmness of having people not knowing because then it gets complicative. Like Idk. I have to go

AR

Everythings…is better. Its all ‘All Right.’ I hope I think.

So thoughts, because I feel tired, exhausted, drunk, and dazed. Hopefully thoughthe meds will work and I’ll be back to myself soon enough.

I was thinking of you
I was dreaming of you
I wondered about you

In this life we live,
In the shadows we hide
I just can’t believe
Everything was so out of sight.

I missed you
With all my heart
Even through
Hours, Minutes, and Seconds.

You were my only thought.
You will always be my only thought.
I live to be with you

Now
And I don’t know
What it would be like
To live without you.

I’d rather die
Then never have you around.
Never to be with you

To be held by you
To be touched and caressed
To be in love
To feel everything is just right

I’d much rather die in your arms at your side.

My bear.

I really don’t know what else to say or think

Torment

I guess I’ve been fooling myself for far too long. Its only been a couple hours, but I can’t deny the fact I have been running from it. So, me and B fought again. You all are probably going “about what? whats the big deal?” I haven’t an idea what we fought about. :’( He was acting strange. His never cussed at me even when I have him. His a gentle even when I’m a rude bitch. He came on and I poked some fun at him for coming on late as I always do. Then he was like fu and something stupid normal guys say he said. He said “your mom.” I was shocked, appalled, and taken a back. He has never just acted and blurted something out like that maybe, if I had started. But I didn’t it was weird, he was being rude to me, I got offended and he sent me his picture of the building he was working on. I said it was awful, and bye because I didn’t like his attitude. He left though he was like why do I even bother. I didn’t say it to hurt his feelings not exactly I just said it because he’d been mean to me. Am I wrong?

lex

Hi…um everybody who reads this. If anyone ever does. *sighs pathetically*

Life has yet to be any more interesting then usual and sense I can barely explain why it is so. Due to stupid things like law issues. Ok, not law issues just I try to keep at least some spice into what I know.

Just so who ever reads this and gets confused I’m watching dot hack sign, so just a little distracted. I should really be getting ready for school. But I’m not and its no big deal.

*stretches and yawns*

My laptop is absolutely dead. I have no clue what happened exactly. However the charger is dead!!!! *cries* Also, I can’t obtain a new laptop till June. Way too long, but I guess I’ll just have to move on.

~Interupted by Mom calling even though she left 10 min. ago!

Latest Updates of life

• I watched all of “The Girl From Tomorrow.”
  I’m writing a book type of thing with a friend. – Its still untitled.
  I have to go to school and its  graduation testing for sophmore’s and freshman. So as a junior I only have to go for AP Reviews and I don’t really have to shadow. But I’m still going in the morning for the movies just to hang out with friends.

I’ll have to finish this later I have to finish getting ready.

Love ya, LEX

OMG REupdated original 1/19/2008

 original 1/19/2008 

omfg

OMFG

i’m so going to kill someone im so going to renninson or w.e her name even though she is awesometastic author

i want my last installment of confessions of georgia nicolson

OMG OMGoodygoodgod ROBBIE MASIMO ROBBIE DAVE MASIMO ROBBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*TEARS TEARS COLLAPSES

Test Messages #1

H8 says:
yeh you knocked me off with your wink
H8 says:
lol?
AlexA says:
lol wat?
AlexA says:
i knocked u off my wink

Test Messages #2

H8 says:
lol
AlexA says:
JERK NO LAUGH
H8 says:
aww
H8 says:
poor minxy has to wait
H8 says:
for aaaaaaaaaages!
AlexA says:
lol i feel bad for wet lindsey she left before the party got started i knew robbie would show up cause jas and tom where acting funny
AlexA says:
3-5
AlexA says:
days
H8 says:
thats an eternity lol
AlexA says:
lol no i have an abuncance of katherines to read still
AlexA says:
plus i have macbeth
AlexA says:
and essay
H8 says:
lol
AlexA says:
n hw
AlexA says:
lol
H8 says:
well youll be kept busy
AlexA says:
lol yeah
AlexA says:
BUT OH MY GOD
AlexA says:
can i tell u wat happened
H8 says:
lol ok
AlexA says:
ok so masimo gets off stage from his break from the stiff dylans band- his the lead singer- oh and there is an actual brit band called that its so cool- and georgia went to loo or the tartrest room and she was like omg i cant see masimo or talk to him and just be mates with him and the whole ace gang was there and there um u missed something and she was like wat wet lindsey snogging masimo and wet
AlexA says:
lindsey walks in crying going how could he be with that italion bibo and georgia was wet and ro ro – rosie- goes yeah that and georgia comes out and masimo is holding the italian bibos face and brushing back her hair and georgia is like omg hold back tears im fine im just fine and wet lindsey runs past and gets her coat and leaves walking past masimo and he doesnt even notice her and georgia is
AlexA says:
all like im going to live to and jas is like no something great can still happen and georgias like i dont think so and she looks across the club at dave whos holding and snogging the emma chick and so she goes to the coat closet and bumps into dave the laugh and falls into his chest crying and his holding her then she remember his dating emma and pulls away n dave was about to say something and
AlexA says:
masimo shows up behind her and ciao goergia can i speak with you outside and dave gives her a funny look and leaves and she was protesting no but she still ended up going outside with him and he was all like u remember how u want to be official bf and gf and she was like so did u see last nights footie game n he was like what? face exspresion wise though and he goes georgia thats my gf from italy
AlexA says:
the one i told u we had a serious relationship with she is here to tell me that she has moved on and that we should still be mates and im happy for her but now that im officially a free man i was wondering if ud still want to be my gf and the ace gang along with tom and jas are now at the door way and a car pulls up and out of the car walks the SEX GOD/ Robbie looking all gorgey and fab and she
AlexA says:
was like omg to Gods and she ran to the tartrest room and thats where it finished
AlexA says:
SO U SEE OMG

You have just sent a nudge.

H8 says:

H8 just sent you a nudge.

H8 says:
quite a tale
H8 says:
girly book
AlexA says:
lol
AlexA says:
its fabolosity good
H8 says:
lol

Book Challenge Update

Hey, Just updating 

Books I’ve Read So Far -2008

1. Blue Blood By Melissa De La Cruz
2. Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers By Louise Rennison (Cofessions of Georgia Nicolson)
3. Startled By His Furry Shorts By Louise Rennison (Cofessions of Georgia Nicolson)

Book Challenge

Hey everyone, 

So, I just saw fiveawesomegirls and although its exam week, the term is ending, I barely see Barry, and I barely have time for homework(cough cough lazy)…….I’M JOINING THE FIVEAWESOMEGIRLS BOOK CLUB!!!

Ok, so the book club is to help Kristina read 50 books by the end of the year. I thought that was a great challenge, I’m dying to. Plus it’ll help me actually read Advance Placement – AP Literature books in track. While letting me create a countdown list. So excited, I know I’m a dork. But I love books so much. Lets all get involved and doing something. Books are way more then what you think.

5 Reasons Of Why To Read Books

1. Fun
2. Other Wordly/Imagitive
3. Creative Ideas and Thoughts to basic standards of life and things
4. Intellectual stimulation and knowledge
5. Wide range of topics to read on, no limitations

Books I’ve Read So Far -2008

1. Blue Blood

Books I Need to Read

1. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
2. Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers By Louise Rennison (Cofessions of Georgia Nicolson)
3. Startled By His Furry Shorts By Louise Rennison (Cofessions of Georgia Nicolson)
4. Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
5. Uglies by Scott Westerfeld
6. Pretties by Scott Westerfeld
7. Unknown Book (I forgot the title)

I’ll add more later. Maybe

The video…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUGXwiSCu-o&rel=1

So, Yeah, you all should join.

Flower Of Mathew Story

Flower Of Mathew Story

One Word, One World, One Person

One Word, One World, One Person

Loony Blog Blog

So, I haven’t updated in a while and though I would love to talk about interesting things like in the latest Brookers video (ha she’s figuring out the sad truths about the world/life). I won’t because I’m tired and just over the world thrilled with a hint of loopy in the mix.

Yeah, so things have been ok well as ok as usual a little tidbit better but not enough to keep.

I’m just going to throw some comments. I have no clue if anyone checks this anymore. I know someone that doesn’t beside me. This is why I won’t feel bad saying this HE SUCKS. Lol.

Yeah, I don’t know anymore about my male acquaintance. His getting on my last nerve, and yeah it’s still the same guy that I’ve been with for a year and 7 months. But, oh my god, how, he is driving nuts lately. See it’s not really him but what he does or how he acts. He never seems to want to do stuff with me be with me it’s always like “I have to this….”, “I‘m tired…..”, or “I have to go…” It’s like he never has time for me anymore or wants to make time for me. I just don’t know anymore how he feels towards. I know that I love him and if he would just make his mind up it would be helpful. Lol I even gave him a free pass. (If you don‘t get that too bad!)

Anyway moving on…I felt loopy now I’m depressed

Random thoughts

Has anyone ever gotten that feeling of being watched or like seeing someone or something hiding in the shadows and you know their watching you but you can’t make them out? Maybe I’m just going insane officially or my imagination is playing jokes on me but I’ve been seeing something in the shadows. It watches me like a guardian angel, but it freaks me out. It’s not the same feeling I get when I think of ZR or OL, um….don‘t ask just say [angels: guardians]. It’s darker, like the shadows of the night watching waiting to pounce, though I know better that it won’t do so. Oh yeah it’s not human, it’s not even adult, yet it chills my bones. I see it at the corner of my eye but when I look closely its gone. It’s just a flash. But no it’s not bright it is black. I don’t know if it’s a he or a she. It’s a feline, a panther, I think like I said I haven’t gotten a good look. Its eyes glow yellow and its dark, pitch black. I see it watching me behind things or run past hedges. But mostly it’s just hiding staring then poof. I really think I’m losing it.

On other news of the loopy train, I think I’m dying. No, I’m not saying I want to die or suicide. But its also, at least I don’t think it’s a disease, hope not. Lol, but like I was going to say I always wanted to die young. Morbid I know but romantic and fantastical and I want to know about death. Gosh, I sound so Goth and emo [tional]. But there is just something interesting about death that is so appealing. Plus, if possible I would love to be one with the night AKA vamp.

Any way I say I think I’m dying because I feel like something some part some tidbit of me is crashing collapsing. I think its part of growing up how dull. So yeah some parts of my brain feel like they’re dying or my body or something. I just feel different, and it’s so weird and freaky. Sadly to say I feel familiar to this sense. Ok, crazy moment 3 blog. But for every stage in my life there’s like a new me. A new soul that takes over (lol it does help with categorizing remembrances) my body. Does that sound nutty or what? But no really, throughout my life it feels like stages, each with its own name. But it changes me though it’s like a new soul, I know all the stuff I’ve done or been through, but it’s kind of like saying goodbye to that life. As I got older after losing my primary second [soul] I didn’t pay as close attention because the rest where like little and now I’m coming up to the another big change, marking me childhood age done.

Its scary thinking I’m 17 turning 18 soon and I haven’t accomplished anything with myself. I don’t even know how to fucking do laundry. I’m a mess, an absolute…loser. Lol, but I’m still young and getting there and I don’t consider myself ignorant just unmotivated towards life. Someone better figure out the point because so far I got nothing. I want to be somebody, go to college, get a good job, have a family, but I want so much more. Ha-ha, no not money, though money does make dreams come true (sadly). I just want to know the answer to all those stupid questions that float around like flies mocking the human race. I just don’t know my feelings are in the freezer these days and I’ve gone tad nutty. I think it’s the whole unable to sleep business.

Ok, so this officially my Goth, vamp blog.

P.s.
 Bored so random bolds & Italics. YAY!!!

NOT
Half Edited

Hate Message…

So….hi I haven’t wroten in for ever. Unlike past post I’m not going to say whats happened just a few main points.

Alot of bs from my dad. Whats his problem? Not only that but not real step dad and what does he do nothing.

My ex went out with the girl that tried to ruin my life. Didn’t happen, plus been thinking I have an upper hand on him muahaha. Kidding, but really I do.

On a sad note I forgot my anniversary with Barry. But apperantly he did too sense he has yet to bring it up wonder how long it’ll be ’till he notices. *sighs* Years!

My sister is a bitch shes one of those girls that is fake emo/scene but is really preppy. I also think shes going to be a slut when she gets older.

.

.

.

*sighs heavily*

.

.

.

.

.

I want Barry. I wish he was here. It would make things so much easier.

We could go out and do stuff or just stay in and cosy.

I miss him every day and every hour and every minute. I’ve become a love sick puppy. But its so not fair. I love Barry I really love him!!!! Its just not fair that his so far away and even if he wasn’t theres the whole age thing. I love him soooooo muchhh!!!!!!! With all my heart. Age doesn’t matter but the fucken distance is pestering. I wish we could be together forever. No, not sounding stalkerish or obsessive. But I mean forever as in it was ok for us to just sleep with eachother (again NO! Not sex, just cosing and sleeping) without the drama. Shes too young for him and we know the sorts of things people do in bed or slut/whore afterwords its ridiculous why can’t two people who love each other just sleep (SLEEP) together.

I just want to feel his arms around me and his hand brushing away all the my worries and problems.

I’m living in such a fantasy land.

Is it so bad to be in love?

Why does age matter?

Can relationships be more then just sex please?

Oh, I don’t know. I don’t even know if he feels the same way. Its so sad. :’(

OMG & Crank

Hey,

        So I just got woken up.

                           Cause I had a phone call.

I don’t get phone calls.

I hate phone calls.

I hate phones,

but I love mics.

Am I freak?

So, I stayed up till 7am not meaning to

I mean I ditched Ricky at 5 pm.

An hour after M ditched me.

And an hour after B had ditched us (M and me.)

My friend, Ali(shorten name sounds prettier then full ha ok shut up Lex. Still half asleep. Shh.)  called and shes like wanna go to Kohls and I’m going wtf. Wtf. WTF! 

Cause I’m a dork socially.

I don’t like to hang out with people.

I mean its fun but causes to much stress for.

Well no, just when people ask, I always say no.

Always, ALWAYS!

Mum’s all you should go and I’m all like but I’m asleep.

Plus no money so why go to Kohls.

And the main reason of alls wtf!

I mean Ali (haha) is nice but (excuse that I think changing her name loses the affect of who she is. *burst into laughter* Yes I know I’m a big meanie. Shut it! ) we aren’t exactly friends.

I mean band geeks hate me.

Not hate, but like I’m not all buddy buddy with them like some people.

She however thinks we are buddies.

I guess kind of but I don’t know.

*hits head on table* Stupid Lex!!!! Think!!! THINK!!!!!!!!!!

I’m going to go think.

- Love ya
-Lex
P.s I’ll publish later with tags.
 

HAPPY EARLY 4TH OF JULY!

Oh yeah, hey, 

HAPPY EARLY 4TH OF JULY!

-Lex

Mssgs of Life

Messages
Earth To Bella says:sorry i was day dreaming about my story

Earth To Bella says:ive changed it three times now

Earth To Bella says:started out with werewolves then thought yuck werewolves n changed it mythological not that any of the settings or facts be right but talking about the past i changed the plotline without knowing talking about a mysterious guy then about wat i was going to write about in the beginning which was well a girls life so i changed it again then or now its about two best friends secrets, boys, n well….

Earth To Bella says:fitting in to who u r n wat u want which sounds like another girl book which is now scratched off

Earth To Bella says:we want unique n everythings been done plus im not smart enough to know actual facts maybe i should make my own planet

Earth To Bella says:hmm….fantasy meets reality BEEN DONE DAMN IT GRR

…..Alexa

I Just Don’t Know….

Hi,

Well, I have no clue what to write about, or feel like I want to write anymore. I mean seriously WTF is with me. I feel like I’ve been drunk all week well sense Thursday and like having hang overs and etc that come with being drunk. I guess its my “friend” but I feel very antisocial that I started going on tc (aka Truechat).

I know I said I would give advice, but OMG (Oh my Gosh!!) someone help me!

Well, music helps but I need something to hear. Lol, I’m listening to Sugar Ray and its helping clear my head. I know his old but still good.

Oh good news, thinking so much that I’ve almost come up with a plot line for my story!

I’m scared of putting it on here cause I want to have a copyright law on it cause I want my writing to be protect by law .

Also been thinking that I love Barry very much. Like really love, like true love and…..well I’m scared to death of it. See I’ve only been in love like twice my whole life and the first time I don’t know if I was really in love or it was because he was my first real crush. But I’m scared because when its all over I’m going to be hurt badly. Also I don’t think Barry loves me like that yet. *sighs* I mean he loves me clearly (not sounding pigheaded just you know its not my fault its true, atleast I hope it is) but he doesn’t love, true love me. But you know it takes time and well atleast he does love me in someway. I don’t know. I JUST DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!

My whole life has just gone upsy turby and bad. I gained weight because of the whole 2 months that my “friend” didn’t come over. So I need to get excercising. I need to start my homework for school next year. Lol, yeah I have summer home work. I say this while smiling because I’m a total dork and think its cool. All though when it comes to actually doing it thats a whole other scenario.

Anyway, I saw Teen Witch and omg that brought up so many memories of my child hood. Well it did when my sister started remembering all the shows she watched and couldn’t name them and I named them for her.

Oh my god, I miss Sammy so much. Sammy was my best friend. We called her our cousin cause Sammy, my sis, and me where inseperable. We were so close. Crazy how when we moved to that house it took me 3 months to have the courage to talk to her. Its insane. Shes year older then my sis well kinda. Same year 1994 but she was born in Feb and my sis in Dec. So almost a year. I love Sammy. She was our neighbor our bestfriend and so much more. My sis and I got these ugly hair cuts when we were kids and when Sammy saw she was all like omg I want my hair like that. She tried cutting her own hair and she was like 4 or littler. We looked like tripplets. We did everything together spend the night at well her house. Sammy got scared spending the night and well it didnt matter cause we live next door to each other. We would go to Don Jimmys house on the other side of my house and play on his mary-go-round because he let us sense noone used it more then us. We would pretend we were on a train running from a hurricane or just spin it fast and faster. We always pretended we had these powers. I miss it and this is where my story line comes. I have a story a plotline we mad up as a group. Of what we played and Its so silly but I think its really good. I wish it were true. Then none of this would matter cause I’d still be who I was then.  We moved and I’ve hardly ever spoken to Sammy. Not cause I can’t call her or write her or talk to her. But because it is just difficult for me. Did I mention her family was like mine? My best friend my age was Lauren, Sammy’s cousin. We were all close cousin sisters neighbors. I wonder what they are doing now. I think I’m talking too much about this.

*cries*

 Bye bye

Love
-Lex
P.s. HI SAMMY 

~ByPass~ Songs On Now Need To Download
The Automatic Automatic – Monster (Rock Mix)
Dark New Day- Follow The Sun Down
Switchfoot – Oh Gravity
Eve 6- Think Twice
Finch -What It Is To Burn
The Exies – Different Than You
Collective Souls – Hollywood
Evans Blue- Cold (But I’m Still Here)
William Tell- Fairfax (You’re Still The Same)
Paramore – Misery Bussiness
Mellowdrone -Oh My
Operator – Soulcrusher

Quickie….

Hi, hey, w.e

TOP NEWS

Sorry I haven’t written I have been busy. Chuy’s family came to stay and I had no alone time. The left wednesday and personally no offence to anyone BUT Thank God! I was beginning to lose my mind. So I’m sorry for not updating.

Other News or Whatever

I can’t really write right now. But I wanna say thank you for my frist real comment. (AKA people should comment more =p). Thank you for the 300 total views.

Also I will write more life facts blogs but right now its 1:12 am here and I’m tired and I want to sleep.

New NewZ

I think I have a plot line for this story blog I’m writing so if I get bored and have time after updating here of course I’ll add a new blogs and such and work the kinks and start on my story.

Well, I love you all. But I’m going to pass out.

-Lex
P.s. – Barry is sleeping and I want to too.
p.S. – I miss talking in my sleep and sleeping with Barry.
P.S. – I think I have a sleeping disorder. 

~*Rules For Barry*~

Barry is able to see my blog only if follows rules…..

3 Main RuleS

• A) Can NOT tell me to take anything off the blog!
• B) MUST get a blog himself!
• C) Must actually READ my blogs!

Barry has accepted these terms.

*~Lex

~ Deleted Blog!~

~ Deleted Blog!~

Thank You :D

Thank you to everyone who has viewed or is viewing not the greatest blog but atleast I try. Truelly Thank You *HUGS*

So yesterday I got 56 views which is like WOAH! cause I usually get like 1 or 2 but 56! :O, it was weird. I really do appreciat it.

Blog Stats

Total Views: 120

Best Day Ever: 56

Views today: 5 (AVERAGE HIGHEST)

!Lex!-Appreciated much.

Life

Hey

        So no diary just Fast Facts and thoughts, also no grammar just typing and if it gets so sloppy I’ll edit it. Also just THOUGHTS! So no flow just me.

• In the alley with the….-  Bad Cops Bad Charities – Play Radio Play
• I vote in 2008 and I’m a democrat and politics is what people like to read so here you go!
• Also I think I’ll vote for Hillary Clinton. Have a problem tell me why?
• Also why are christians all republicans. They don’t give a crap about politics their followers do what the goverment says and get screwed over.
•  Ha, LIBERTY IS OURS TAKE IT OUR LEAVE IT
• I believe if you want to be a hater, racist, or anything. Your an ass but its your right and I’m not going to stop you because untill you learn why its bad or give me a good reason to act like that your not worth it.
• Crap, is crap. Life is crap. But if you don’t follow your heart your never going to be anything but crap.
• What is with religion and people saying god wants you to give love but always think your religion is better then every one elses. why? whats it worth? i mean really! All religions have like the same basic principles and why do people have to be better then someone else to feel good. God says love and what do we do fight wars because of his name. Wow, that sounds so right. Peace is happiness and tell you all figure out that all you really want is for people to understand you theres not going to be no right way to justify what your doing.
• Also what is up with kids these days. I’m 17 I know I sound ignorant but come on look around my century was like the beginning of the end seriously kids like 7 or 8 are talking about things that are idiotic. Girls are wearing make up and doing adutrery stuff and at 12 we have druggies alcoholics and parents. What kind of planet has this become.? I’m scared for our future. I miss our great ancestors even if their life was harsh and had. They were intelligent
• Why is everyone so interested in Paris Hilton? I mean really who gives a fuck! Some rich girl is going to jail where she gets her own huge cell with a jail mate she picked. OMG!
• Why don’t people talk about things like Darfur? or starving children around the world? or about people in Africa and Asia that need our help?
• Why do people think its ok to have our life styles? We live in a materialistic world where people are going to buy stupid things they won’t use and wasting the low supply of oil and resources we have. Then we’re going to other places to take their supplies. So we do it over and over again to ourselves. Do people not realize that we’re killing our planet and ourselves and we’re still not happy!
• Why don’t people look around them?
• Why?WHY!!!!!
• Sometimes I wonder whether this is what was planned for us and what it was like before and how it could be different
• Although I like saying all this I’m still just like the rest of u…..doing nothing and being an ignorant fool.
• I’m still young and this is why I want to be a lawyer to help people.
• I’ve been on the other side where people got screwed by other people and now I want to help people that been screwed because I’ve gone through it.
• Life isn’t meant to be easy by I damn well won’t let it beat me down.
• I only want happiness for all of us, whoever it is. Can’t we all just get along? That may sound naive, but it is me. I’m NAIVE IGNORANT STUPID IDIOT AND MUCH TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND. But atleast I’m me I trust my soul and it tells me we’re all the same even if people don’t want to believe it. We all deserve happiness, don’t we?
• On lighter news or ramble…..
• LOVE IS EVERLASTING SO HOLD ON TO WHAT YOU GOT. Family, Friends, or Lovers.
• My party is tomorrow!
• I trust that I won’t grow out of this stage, if I do slap me!
• I’m so anti-social and I love it
• So i’m lonelly but I have my family and their my best friends. How cheesy is that?
• People ruin things BUT YOU GET OVER IT.
• I’m nothing without my laptop *huggles it*
• All MUST listen to “Lean on Sheena” by The Bouncing Souls!
• So I spend like no time yesterday watching youtube videos and when I came back I watched all my subscribed and I’m getting bored with having alot of elitest youtubers. I never really thought about it. So anyway got someone for me to watch!
• Dead Or Alive the movie is good. I haven’t seen it fully. But its not totally awefull. Best part is the most hilarious one with the daughter and dad where he walks in and the other girl in the daughters room in bed with the daughter is there.
  “Dad get out I’m in my underwear”-Daughter
  “Its time to fight”- or something IDK -Dad
  Blah Blah Blah
  “You should sleep naked like I do”- Other Girl
  “Ah….I’ll leave you and your friend to it”-Dad
  He leaves and daughter kicks OGirl out of bed and OGirl has clothes on.
  If you don’t get it, its suppose to sound like the other girl was saying their girlfriends to like freak out the dad. Kinda IDK it was funny you must see.
• My legs are a sleep wonderfull. *Gets up and Jumps around*

I think this entry is done for, Tootles Love!
~Lex
PS. Sorry for dullness:P
p.S Leave COMMENTS!!!

My Bday, L + B= Bad, N Comments

Hey,

Its been a while!!! I thought I’d update!

I’m 17!!! My birthday was Monday, June 4th. All I have to say is I have to get my head straighten on. I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do with myself. That way, I’m not a bum. So I though I need a job! I told my mum and we figured we’d ask Cody (My stepbrother) if he could get me a job at the pizza place he works. Sense his my stepbrother and the closest thing I’ve had to a brother. Also cause his an assistant manager or a manager which means he could probably get me a job easily there. Hopefully! 

           I’ve been thinking that I want to travel go on a road trip during the summer I turn 18. So I want to save money for that.

          Not much has happened. Besides me being a lazy bum. Which theres nothing wrong with that. But it makes me feel useless.

        I’m lonely too. No sister (She is at a friends house. Not that you need to know that.) No Barry (Who knows where his at.) So I’m bored too. Loneliness + Boredom = Bad!!!

       Also to anyone who views this blog (I don’t really know why you would view it. Its a bit dull) comment back.

      I want comments for…..~LIST TIME!~

COMMENT REASON LIST
1. Feedback (Like is it stupid boring or just BLECH)
2. Advice (Should I fix something? Should I talk about the world? Politics? Animals? HELP)
3. Relationships(I want to meet people plainly so comment and I’ll reply and we could be friends or enemies whichever you perfer)
4. How Can I help you comments (I like giving advice so have a problem ask moi/me and I’ll help you)
5. Feedback for YOU (Comment me ask to view your site, cause I really don’t know how to make friends on this so looking at your site might teach me or just make me like yours.)

I think thats it. Hehe SO COMMENT. I know I sound desperate. Sorry!

Love ya,
Lex o.O
P.s I sound like a nutcase!

Bored…

So, I’m bored and tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be 17 and well so far this weekend has been shitting. I haven’t gotten any suplies for my party. I don’t want to do it for it and its this coming saturday on June 9th. I feel tired and dead. Frankly, I’m just so sick of bullshit. My sister got lectured by mum on friday about the movies thing. She cried and then the next day it was like it hadn’t happened. She isn’t grounded. She isn’t anything. She went out with Kylie (Our little neighbor, shes adorable.)  She talked on the phone with her best friend Kayla who got her in trouble to begin with. She is still allowed on the com and its just BULLSHIT! I mean really. So mum and me where arguing and I was the one that was painly in trouble for shit. Oh yeah for saying I didn’t want my sister at my party and telling mum how to raise her. But seriously my sister is so disrespectful and rude. Why should I invite her at all? Cause I’m forced to so finally mum listens to me with no arguing and she makes my sister apologize to me because of how stupid and bratty and disrespectful she was to me. So yeah, I’m done talking about this. I thought Sense I was bored I’d add some pictures to my blog. So here you go.

ERROR ERROR

This is our home in secondlife. Barry made the textures and built it. It has no furniture yet.  Barry made me take it off. ASS!!!

 This is my icon, hehe.

Wow, adding photos on here is weird. They won’t go where you want them to go. So, I’ll have to figure it out. Also I don’t know.

Bye now,
Lex
P.s. I’m sorry for the suckiness.

Sisters! :O

Hey, me again.

            So my loving sister wants to go to the movies with her friends. Dad kept saying no cause then if something happened to her it would be his head. So for her to stop whining going QUOTE “My social life is over, ever sense mom got her new job. I can’t see my friends anymore :’(“ *Wah, wah….waaaaah!* So being that I’m the nice sister I am. I intervined and said I would go to get her to shut up. But we have no money. So we’re going to pay with change. I love my life, I really do. NOT! I got conned. :’( and I’m using my money to watch some stupid kiddy movie. YUCK.

Till Later!

Love,
Lex
P.s. Never try to be the nice guy or girl.

Stupid Blog

Hey, Lex here!

             So whats up? Well not alot here I guess. Hmp, I don’t know its all kinda weird. My lifes been up and down and turnaround. Lol btw (By The Way) thats from Hellogoodbye. I love them. Thanks Spencer. I fell in love with them after hearing at his myspace. Did I mention before? I hate myspace.

             So not much has happened. I don’t think, if it has I really don’t feel like talking about it AKA I don’t care.

              My birthday is this Monday and it should be thrilling. No not really so far no presents and if any. The party is that Saturday on June 9th.

               Then on June 11th Chuy (his nickname aka Josive? Jesus? w.e) is going to be staying my family for a week. I’m nervous cause we grew up together and his my age and I haven’t seen him in forever. I have to share my room with my little sister. Which is very YUCK! But what can I do. I’m just a girl.

               So lukettylwillie, I’ve fallen in love with his videos cause his acting is awesome and he reminds me of the bear. So I really want to make youtube vids and I’m so jealous of him. But what can you do? Not to mention I looked at his stickam (Ha, I am not a stalker. I commented his vid and he replied and I was like he seems nice maybe I should talk to him and I perfer stickam to myspace even though I use neither. So I looked for it and found him. Ok, slightly stalkerish but I’m just nosy and really lonelly when Barry isn’t around so its really sad. But I think I’ve become antisocial and don’t know how to socialize this is why I used to use TrueChat. Anyway!) I was looking at his stickam profile and I fell in love. No not with him. With the song in his profile. AKA Bittersweet Symphony!!!! It ROCKS!

               So yeah. Hm….what else to talk about. Lol, I’m boring.

               Oh yeah mine and Barry’s anniversary for a year happened. We did nothing cause that week we were having a grouch fest. Still kinda are. I have my friend and Bear well its his time of the month too. Lol! He doesn’t have a friend but he is kinda like  having sympathy pains if you think about it cause I have it too. Usually tho its a week before my friend then happiness. So we aren’t grouchy anymore. Just finding time to be with eachother is slightly difficult recently but we’re working it out. Alls good. Really. I hope it is. I don’t know. We’ve been watching films. Great ones yesterday. Some scary funny and way out there. They really are fun to watch with him though. I love Mister Snookie. Hehe. He said his going to send my a present and I know he has it but he need a box so its nothing to get here for a while yet. I’m counting a month. It pisses me off and he knowas and then it pisses him off and then we argue and then we both feel bad and we apologize. I guess we have an argueing routine cause I do it so much.

                        But its cause A) I admit it I like pouting and slightly argueing B) He pisses me off and C) If we don’t argue its strange for me, I mean I can’t tell him things that I can’t say directly if we don’t argue. I don’t know I like arguing its part of a relationship. I love him and I don’t do it to hurt him its just…..I’m a nut case. Plain and simple. But his patient and loving and I appreciate everything he does for me. Theres no one like the bear. I adore him but its just who I am. Not to mention if he tried to change who I was……we wouldn’t be together cause I believe if you love someone even if they have things like arguing you’ll stick through it cause their worth it. I want the bear to feel like I’m worth it. I don’t know if I am. But I try to change myself a little to fit him even though I’m not good at change but I try. Cause my bear is so worth it and so much more. I wish he knew.

                 Oh yeah, I sent him the link to this cause the whole suicidal thing scared me. I was sad depressed mad and I don’t rememeber why anymore. I have multiple personalites not really but I have very strong emotions. I’m slightly bipolar so yeah. Drama MINX.

                  Hehe, I’m so sick of talking about me. So I’ll finish talking about me soon and talk about something else. 

                 So school is over. I passed my OGT’s (Ohio Graduation Tests). I got two advanced in Math and Social Studies. Also I got Accelerated in Science, Writing, and Reading AKA the three subjects I suck at. So I didn’t need to take my Algebra2, English10, American History, and Biology exams. Then the art teachers decided if your a sophmore and passed all your OGTs you are excempt (or however you spell it) from that exam. Then Yinger (Keyboarding teacher) said that too soo…..
THIS IS MY NORMAL SCHEDULE
Per. 1 – Alg2
Per. 3- Spa2 (Spanish)
Per. 5/6 – Bio A/B (Advance Bio)
Per. 7/8- Eng10
Per.  9/10 -Keyboarding
Per. 11 – Intro to Art
Per. 12 -U.S History
THIS IS THE EXAM SCHEDULE
Friday June 1st
Per 1 – Per 1/ Alg2
Per 2 – Per 3/ Spa2
Per 3 – Lunch
Per 4 – Per 12/ Hist
Monday June 4th
Per 1 – Per 5-6/ Bio
Per 2 – Per 9-10/ KeyB
Tuesday June 5th (Also Last Day Of School)
Per 1 -Per 7-8/ Eng10
Per 2 – Per 11/ Art
THIS IS MY SCHEDULE
Friday June 1st
Per 1 – NO EXAM
Per 2 – Spa
Per 3 - NO EXAM
Per 4 – NO EXAM
Monday June 4th
Per 1 – NO EXAM
Per 2 – NO EXAM
Tuesday June 5th
Per 1 - NO EXAM
Per 2 – NO EXAM

             So, you see I go or went to school today for my only exam aka Spa. Which I speak fluently and was EASY. I went for Per 2 and left after it and that was my last day of school cause I don’t have to go on Monday or Tuesday which is very woot woot !

That it about my life, lets talk about someone elses or facts.

My sister went to camp wilson and she had fun. Woot!

Barry knows about my blog and he thinks it feeds me. (the layout)

Mum is cooking dinner and yelling at me about cleaning the house during the summer.

Kelly, my dog, has disappeared. (Not really.)

Brookers videos suck now.

I know I’m not suppose to mention me but my hand hurts of typing. I should stop but I like the way it feels when you type your thoughts. Moving on….

This blog is stupid. I will call it that.

Can I go now! PLEASE! Grr… youstupid blogg.

FTljusdfgbkjghnfjdgdesfjndfhdrgb….sorry I lost my mind its been killed by this never ending blog. Wheres BARRY!??!?!?!

Goodbye now! Have a great day!
*creepy smile*

I love you all very much,
Lex

P.s. I say so alot.
p.S. Its alot of bullshit said.
P.s. I like making list, I’m sorry please forgive me.
P.s. Sorry, for the long list of tags I have for this blog in the categories thing, boredom.

I…

I wanna die sometimes.

What to say…

Its been offly long, I’m really tired. But I came home at 11 am!!! *squeals* I’ll explain in a second.

So…Hey

~Last last or w.e last last last something week.
I don’t remember but I was sick and it was just craziness. I really didn’t feel good and this whole doctor its kinda bluah now. But I feel much better now

~Last Week
I was realling cranky at Barry. Like we were having fun but the slightest thing near the night would piss me off and we would start arguing. But thats nothing new me and him argue more and better then any couple I know. Which I like because it does mean we care and it happens in every healthy relationship. Plus he loves me and he has patience for me and he understands that I’m nut case. Ok, I’m not a nut case. But he does call me fruit cause I spasm easily. Lol, I’m a mood swinger. Rwar! I’m so lucky to have a guy like him be able to put with me. I figured out why I was cranky though. I always get cranky a week before my friend. Its just how he works. My friend had gone missing for 2 months and I was so excited to find out I got him back. Yes, I know a girl actually wanting to have her friend. By the way by my friend, its not literal! But I was starting to get scared. I was freaking going “Oh my god! I’m virgin marry.” Barry had a  good laugh at me when I told him I wasn’t no virgin mary. The nut case! Kidding. I do talk about him enough. *sighs* But his my world. What would I do without him? Who would I be without him? Where would I be? How would I feel? Easy, I couldn’t do anything without him, I would be no one without him, I’d be dying something without him, and I would be dead and crushed. Sorry, we have a strong bond. People don’t understand….:( some of my friends that know about him kind of think it

SO SORRY I HAD TO GO AND I COULDNT FINISH I TRY I REALLY DO JUST ITS BEEN SO CRAZY LATELY FORGIVE ME!!!

Sick, sorry.

Hey, sorry I haven’t updated. I’ve been sick sense like Sunday night. It was a little ok, till Monday at like 1 p.m. But then it got really worst. I felt nausea, head ache, stomach ache, and like throwing up. I while tell you about it later or copy and paste what I told Barry. Sorry, but I’m still sick. To where today I went home after 3 classes. Here, I’ll copy and paste what I told him yester day.

~Alexa
—I’m sorry.

Another Day Another Adventure

Hey, here I am again.
               Thought I would stop by while Barry was sleeping.

~So last night was fun.

When I left I just talked to Barry for a while then had dinner. My mom was going to the grocery store so we had to make dinner cause she wasn’t going to. So my sister, Jj, got the pan ready and I put the food on it. So, it would get cooked in the oven. My sister kept track of the food putting out and all that. She didn’t burn it and it was good. So I was happy. Then I came back upstairs to talk to Barry on my comp. or lappy as I say. We watched Pans Labby. Its a REALLY good film. Its deffinately a much watch film. We were so happy then we were talking about something. That just made me think bad thoughts. About us we were talking about our age and I was asking him if it was really that big of a deal. He said it was like, “Emily and her bf. People saying that she shouldn’t be with him because his black. But what bussiness is it of people to tell her that its her life.” He said then, “Its none of their bussiness, if she loves him why would it matter. Its the same with us. Other people might notes our age difference. But we don’t. We are perfectly fine with our ages its not a big deal to us, so it doesn’t matter. Plus, you should worry more about our difference.” He laughed, it was sweet what he said but it just made me think that we have really big differences and how could it work. Also, that he might not like me because of those differences. I became sad and I was grumpy at him for having said. He realized and he gave me little kisses. I didn’t kiss back, I always kiss him and say I love him cause  I do no matter what. So I go, “Is it bad we’re really different? I always thought it made things interesting” and he goes its not bad its just difficult trying to find things we both like. This he said was because one of us one to do something and the other whats to do something else. I kept silent my brain was still analyze everything to a tee. He hates that, he doesn’t mind it but he hates it. This because I’m a negative person, no he didn’t say or would ever say it to me I just know I am sense before him its just who I am. He hates it because as I negative person analyzing things sometimes makes me take things the wrong way which in turn makes him look like a bad guy and makes me mad at him. This is when we start to fight. Its not fighting, fighting but petty little arguements. Where, most of the time I yell at him, rant or say mean things because I thought he said something mean to me, did something wrong, or grumped at me. I’m too spoiled and his created a monster. We don’t fight so much though. Well we did this week and thats because I’ve been grumpy easily. Mood swing, Lex.  Anyway I became grumpy and he kissed me more to cheer me up. It usually works and he said it does make things interesting though. Then I just kept quiet like if I was falling asleep and he just listen to my breathing. I always fall asleep on him. Its the only way I can sleep now a days. If he isnt here, I can’t sleep. So I told him he should go to bed, he tried to protest, but he would do anything even leave to keep me happy. That and well he was tired. He soon went to bed, I went downstairs. I stole the remote for the TV and went to SOD(ShowtimeOnDemand) after flipping through channels of course deciding to watch Dexter. It was really good, so after a while my mom and sis that are still up start going ooo what she watching and come over and start watching. I had to pause it a couple times to explain it to them. So we decided to watch the 2nd Episode after finishing the first. The begin with him shaving and making breakfast ABSOLUTELY discussed it my mom and sis. I was going whats so wrong with it, its just breakfast. They were like yeah, but the representation of killing and blood. I laughed at them. The show looks pretty vial. But its not its kinda funny and unique very interesting and just out there. I loved it. Adding it to my list of shows. Ooo…list time!

~~SHOW LIST—I’ll add more later when I can think

1. Dexter
2. Big Love
3. Gilmore Girls
4. Little People, Big World
5. Honey We’re Killing The Kids
6. Doctor Who
7. TorchWood

–Cut to Last Night
So, I love Dexter now. If I didn’t say that before the list. Sorry, I’m a list person. I like making list and organizing things. Although you will not see my room ever be organized. Its my own very special place where I have a mess because it frees my soul to know I’m not a total anal person. Just because you act something doesn’t mean you are. Soon, after we finally went to bed at like 3:30am. Barry was gone and I had only my Ipod (Its a nano) to keep me company. Which made me fall asleep about 30 mins to an hour later. Usually longer, but I was tired and had a headache. My body was aching for sweet slumber.

–TODAY

I woke up late, no surprise there. I woke up at around 11:27 am. Which is pretty late. I got on the com, Barry is on but his not there so I quickly slipped into the blog and made this blog to update you and not feel so lonelly. Its 12:03 and I’ve been writing this blog for a little over 20 mins.

I should go a new day is waiting and I need to type an essay for english YUCK! But I like the Dover Beach Poem Lots! So, that better be a good sign. I’ll see you later. I’ll probably rant about somethikng else.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Hello world!

Hey, I’m Alexa. I’m new and this is my first blog. I’m not going to start by ranting about me at the moment because theres an about me and you can hear my rant there . But I guess I should still introduce myself. I’m 16 years old and act old for my age. Sometimes…other times I act like a total loon. I’m fun, smart, and crazy. My belief is an old belief that says the craziest people are always the funnest. I have a bf that I absolutely adore. His name is Barry and his adorable. We’ve been together about 11 months almost. Meaning April 21, 2007 be our 11 month aniversary. I’m a silly girl I keep track of this stuff. Dear God! I’m ranting anyway, I have a family an odd one but they count. ~END OF RANT

–ON OTHER NEWS–

I started this blog a while ago but totally forgot about it. Shows how ditzy I am. ICK! Barry is IMing me. Oh yeah, thats why I forgot about it. I seriously spend too much time with him. He doesn’t know of this blog though too. Well, he does, but he doesn’t. He knows I created a blog on wordpress.com. But he can’t read it because its my online journal. So he doesn’t have the URL all though he could easily find it. He knows my password to my email. Hehe, not a good thing. But I trust him. Only if I could get him to give me his. It wouldn’t work well. I’d get hurt and be jealous reading his old emails to his exs. Which is why it’d be bad if he did look in my email he’d read my emails to my exs. Then knowing him, he’d tease me. Jerk, lol kidding I love him! . If I start ranting about him. I truelly am sorry and feel bad for you. Just his my first real relationship and longest. I adore him for having the courage to put up with someone like me. Its trully a challenge. But that isn’t always a bad thing for guys, they love a challenge. We, girls, don’t need a challenge we love making them chase us. MINXY! Thats me, I forgot. Thats what I’m called the Minx.  Moving on, I’m listening to the Chobits theme. Best Anime! Its a most see. So life here in Ohio is pretty dull. I might be getting 28 days later. I have to write an essay on the “Dover Beach” poem and Farenheit 451. I like the poem, its pretty good. I think one of the most touchy poems I’ve read. I’m not a big poem reader and I like books but mostly romance. I love films, I’m a film person and very picky. But thats just me. I hate writing poems though. I’m going to watch Pans Labyrinth or Pans Labby as I call it, sense my spelling sucks later. Its mostly in spanish as I hear so I might be able to understand it. Oh yeah, I’m bilingual. Told you, my spelling sucks. I’m glad its cold and rainy out. I love the rain! Also because theres this bird that makes this like evil laugh sound when he chirps and its really loud and he sits on the tree thats right outside my window that the windows is closest to my bed waking me up and giving me the creeps. One time, I actually thought there was a creepy guy in my room laughing evilly while seeing me sleep, which is very creepy!

I have to go, I’ll add more later. I really like having a new private journal. Also, I might add a layout or something.

~ConvoClip~-This is me being silly.
H8 is Barry
H8 says:why webcam lol
Alexa says:lol cause
Alexa says:idk
Alexa says:cause i said so bitch