I Just Don’t Know….

Hi,

Well, I have no clue what to write about, or feel like I want to write anymore. I mean seriously WTF is with me. I feel like I’ve been drunk all week well sense Thursday and like having hang overs and etc that come with being drunk. I guess its my “friend” but I feel very antisocial that I started going on tc (aka Truechat).

I know I said I would give advice, but OMG (Oh my Gosh!!) someone help me!

Well, music helps but I need something to hear. Lol, I’m listening to Sugar Ray and its helping clear my head. I know his old but still good.

Oh good news, thinking so much that I’ve almost come up with a plot line for my story!

I’m scared of putting it on here cause I want to have a copyright law on it cause I want my writing to be protect by law .

Also been thinking that I love Barry very much. Like really love, like true love and…..well I’m scared to death of it. See I’ve only been in love like twice my whole life and the first time I don’t know if I was really in love or it was because he was my first real crush. But I’m scared because when its all over I’m going to be hurt badly. Also I don’t think Barry loves me like that yet. *sighs* I mean he loves me clearly (not sounding pigheaded just you know its not my fault its true, atleast I hope it is) but he doesn’t love, true love me. But you know it takes time and well atleast he does love me in someway. I don’t know. I JUST DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!

My whole life has just gone upsy turby and bad. I gained weight because of the whole 2 months that my “friend” didn’t come over. So I need to get excercising. I need to start my homework for school next year. Lol, yeah I have summer home work. I say this while smiling because I’m a total dork and think its cool. All though when it comes to actually doing it thats a whole other scenario.

Anyway, I saw Teen Witch and omg that brought up so many memories of my child hood. Well it did when my sister started remembering all the shows she watched and couldn’t name them and I named them for her.

Oh my god, I miss Sammy so much. Sammy was my best friend. We called her our cousin cause Sammy, my sis, and me where inseperable. We were so close. Crazy how when we moved to that house it took me 3 months to have the courage to talk to her. Its insane. Shes year older then my sis well kinda. Same year 1994 but she was born in Feb and my sis in Dec. So almost a year. I love Sammy. She was our neighbor our bestfriend and so much more. My sis and I got these ugly hair cuts when we were kids and when Sammy saw she was all like omg I want my hair like that. She tried cutting her own hair and she was like 4 or littler. We looked like tripplets. We did everything together spend the night at well her house. Sammy got scared spending the night and well it didnt matter cause we live next door to each other. We would go to Don Jimmys house on the other side of my house and play on his mary-go-round because he let us sense noone used it more then us. We would pretend we were on a train running from a hurricane or just spin it fast and faster. We always pretended we had these powers. I miss it and this is where my story line comes. I have a story a plotline we mad up as a group. Of what we played and Its so silly but I think its really good. I wish it were true. Then none of this would matter cause I’d still be who I was then.  We moved and I’ve hardly ever spoken to Sammy. Not cause I can’t call her or write her or talk to her. But because it is just difficult for me. Did I mention her family was like mine? My best friend my age was Lauren, Sammy’s cousin. We were all close cousin sisters neighbors. I wonder what they are doing now. I think I’m talking too much about this.

*cries*

 Bye bye

Love
-Lex
P.s. HI SAMMY 

~ByPass~ Songs On Now Need To Download
The Automatic Automatic – Monster (Rock Mix)
Dark New Day- Follow The Sun Down
Switchfoot – Oh Gravity
Eve 6- Think Twice
Finch -What It Is To Burn
The Exies – Different Than You
Collective Souls – Hollywood
Evans Blue- Cold (But I’m Still Here)
William Tell- Fairfax (You’re Still The Same)
Paramore – Misery Bussiness
Mellowdrone -Oh My
Operator – Soulcrusher