So today’s horoscope says this…

Gemini

Getting through the day may be tougher than you thought it would be — especially if some rather distressing news arrives. Just don’t try to avoid the situation. It won’t work, so be brave, meet it head on and deal with it. That means no calling in sick to work, no asking to leave early and no dragging yourself through the day pouting. Be brave, be meticulous and take care of business like the mature, responsible grownup you are.

Really grown up? Me? Damn it! Yes, I did think it would be easy seems it won’t my darling family will object to that. Deal with it? I won’t I’m having a party and no one is coming. Deal?! Hah…..

Hey everyone, 

So, I just saw fiveawesomegirls and although its exam week, the term is ending, I barely see Barry, and I barely have time for homework(cough cough lazy)…….I’M JOINING THE FIVEAWESOMEGIRLS BOOK CLUB!!!

Ok, so the book club is to help Kristina read 50 books by the end of the year. I thought that was a great challenge, I’m dying to. Plus it’ll help me actually read Advance Placement – AP Literature books in track. While letting me create a countdown list. So excited, I know I’m a dork. But I love books so much. Lets all get involved and doing something. Books are way more then what you think.

5 Reasons Of Why To Read Books

1. Fun
2. Other Wordly/Imagitive
3. Creative Ideas and Thoughts to basic standards of life and things
4. Intellectual stimulation and knowledge
5. Wide range of topics to read on, no limitations

Books I’ve Read So Far -2008

1. Blue Blood

Books I Need to Read

1. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
2. Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers By Louise Rennison (Cofessions of Georgia Nicolson)
3. Startled By His Furry Shorts By Louise Rennison (Cofessions of Georgia Nicolson)
4. Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
5. Uglies by Scott Westerfeld
6. Pretties by Scott Westerfeld
7. Unknown Book (I forgot the title)

I’ll add more later. Maybe

The video…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUGXwiSCu-o&rel=1

So, Yeah, you all should join.

So, I haven’t updated in a while and though I would love to talk about interesting things like in the latest Brookers video (ha she’s figuring out the sad truths about the world/life). I won’t because I’m tired and just over the world thrilled with a hint of loopy in the mix.

Yeah, so things have been ok well as ok as usual a little tidbit better but not enough to keep.

I’m just going to throw some comments. I have no clue if anyone checks this anymore. I know someone that doesn’t beside me. This is why I won’t feel bad saying this HE SUCKS. Lol.

Yeah, I don’t know anymore about my male acquaintance. His getting on my last nerve, and yeah it’s still the same guy that I’ve been with for a year and 7 months. But, oh my god, how, he is driving nuts lately. See it’s not really him but what he does or how he acts. He never seems to want to do stuff with me be with me it’s always like “I have to this….”, “I‘m tired…..”, or “I have to go…” It’s like he never has time for me anymore or wants to make time for me. I just don’t know anymore how he feels towards. I know that I love him and if he would just make his mind up it would be helpful. Lol I even gave him a free pass. (If you don‘t get that too bad!)

Anyway moving on…I felt loopy now I’m depressed

Random thoughts

Has anyone ever gotten that feeling of being watched or like seeing someone or something hiding in the shadows and you know their watching you but you can’t make them out? Maybe I’m just going insane officially or my imagination is playing jokes on me but I’ve been seeing something in the shadows. It watches me like a guardian angel, but it freaks me out. It’s not the same feeling I get when I think of ZR or OL, um….don‘t ask just say [angels: guardians]. It’s darker, like the shadows of the night watching waiting to pounce, though I know better that it won’t do so. Oh yeah it’s not human, it’s not even adult, yet it chills my bones. I see it at the corner of my eye but when I look closely its gone. It’s just a flash. But no it’s not bright it is black. I don’t know if it’s a he or a she. It’s a feline, a panther, I think like I said I haven’t gotten a good look. Its eyes glow yellow and its dark, pitch black. I see it watching me behind things or run past hedges. But mostly it’s just hiding staring then poof. I really think I’m losing it.

On other news of the loopy train, I think I’m dying. No, I’m not saying I want to die or suicide. But its also, at least I don’t think it’s a disease, hope not. Lol, but like I was going to say I always wanted to die young. Morbid I know but romantic and fantastical and I want to know about death. Gosh, I sound so Goth and emo [tional]. But there is just something interesting about death that is so appealing. Plus, if possible I would love to be one with the night AKA vamp.

Any way I say I think I’m dying because I feel like something some part some tidbit of me is crashing collapsing. I think its part of growing up how dull. So yeah some parts of my brain feel like they’re dying or my body or something. I just feel different, and it’s so weird and freaky. Sadly to say I feel familiar to this sense. Ok, crazy moment 3 blog. But for every stage in my life there’s like a new me. A new soul that takes over (lol it does help with categorizing remembrances) my body. Does that sound nutty or what? But no really, throughout my life it feels like stages, each with its own name. But it changes me though it’s like a new soul, I know all the stuff I’ve done or been through, but it’s kind of like saying goodbye to that life. As I got older after losing my primary second [soul] I didn’t pay as close attention because the rest where like little and now I’m coming up to the another big change, marking me childhood age done.

Its scary thinking I’m 17 turning 18 soon and I haven’t accomplished anything with myself. I don’t even know how to fucking do laundry. I’m a mess, an absolute…loser. Lol, but I’m still young and getting there and I don’t consider myself ignorant just unmotivated towards life. Someone better figure out the point because so far I got nothing. I want to be somebody, go to college, get a good job, have a family, but I want so much more. Ha-ha, no not money, though money does make dreams come true (sadly). I just want to know the answer to all those stupid questions that float around like flies mocking the human race. I just don’t know my feelings are in the freezer these days and I’ve gone tad nutty. I think it’s the whole unable to sleep business.

Ok, so this officially my Goth, vamp blog.

P.s.
 Bored so random bolds & Italics. YAY!!!

NOT
Half Edited

Hi,

Well, I have no clue what to write about, or feel like I want to write anymore. I mean seriously WTF is with me. I feel like I’ve been drunk all week well sense Thursday and like having hang overs and etc that come with being drunk. I guess its my “friend” but I feel very antisocial that I started going on tc (aka Truechat).

I know I said I would give advice, but OMG (Oh my Gosh!!) someone help me!

Well, music helps but I need something to hear. Lol, I’m listening to Sugar Ray and its helping clear my head. I know his old but still good.

Oh good news, thinking so much that I’ve almost come up with a plot line for my story!

I’m scared of putting it on here cause I want to have a copyright law on it cause I want my writing to be protect by law .

Also been thinking that I love Barry very much. Like really love, like true love and…..well I’m scared to death of it. See I’ve only been in love like twice my whole life and the first time I don’t know if I was really in love or it was because he was my first real crush. But I’m scared because when its all over I’m going to be hurt badly. Also I don’t think Barry loves me like that yet. *sighs* I mean he loves me clearly (not sounding pigheaded just you know its not my fault its true, atleast I hope it is) but he doesn’t love, true love me. But you know it takes time and well atleast he does love me in someway. I don’t know. I JUST DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!

My whole life has just gone upsy turby and bad. I gained weight because of the whole 2 months that my “friend” didn’t come over. So I need to get excercising. I need to start my homework for school next year. Lol, yeah I have summer home work. I say this while smiling because I’m a total dork and think its cool. All though when it comes to actually doing it thats a whole other scenario.

Anyway, I saw Teen Witch and omg that brought up so many memories of my child hood. Well it did when my sister started remembering all the shows she watched and couldn’t name them and I named them for her.

Oh my god, I miss Sammy so much. Sammy was my best friend. We called her our cousin cause Sammy, my sis, and me where inseperable. We were so close. Crazy how when we moved to that house it took me 3 months to have the courage to talk to her. Its insane. Shes year older then my sis well kinda. Same year 1994 but she was born in Feb and my sis in Dec. So almost a year. I love Sammy. She was our neighbor our bestfriend and so much more. My sis and I got these ugly hair cuts when we were kids and when Sammy saw she was all like omg I want my hair like that. She tried cutting her own hair and she was like 4 or littler. We looked like tripplets. We did everything together spend the night at well her house. Sammy got scared spending the night and well it didnt matter cause we live next door to each other. We would go to Don Jimmys house on the other side of my house and play on his mary-go-round because he let us sense noone used it more then us. We would pretend we were on a train running from a hurricane or just spin it fast and faster. We always pretended we had these powers. I miss it and this is where my story line comes. I have a story a plotline we mad up as a group. Of what we played and Its so silly but I think its really good. I wish it were true. Then none of this would matter cause I’d still be who I was then.  We moved and I’ve hardly ever spoken to Sammy. Not cause I can’t call her or write her or talk to her. But because it is just difficult for me. Did I mention her family was like mine? My best friend my age was Lauren, Sammy’s cousin. We were all close cousin sisters neighbors. I wonder what they are doing now. I think I’m talking too much about this.

*cries*

 Bye bye

Love
-Lex
P.s. HI SAMMY 

~ByPass~ Songs On Now Need To Download
The Automatic Automatic – Monster (Rock Mix)
Dark New Day- Follow The Sun Down
Switchfoot – Oh Gravity
Eve 6- Think Twice
Finch -What It Is To Burn
The Exies – Different Than You
Collective Souls – Hollywood
Evans Blue- Cold (But I’m Still Here)
William Tell- Fairfax (You’re Still The Same)
Paramore – Misery Bussiness
Mellowdrone -Oh My
Operator – Soulcrusher

Hi, hey, w.e

TOP NEWS

Sorry I haven’t written I have been busy. Chuy’s family came to stay and I had no alone time. The left wednesday and personally no offence to anyone BUT Thank God! I was beginning to lose my mind. So I’m sorry for not updating.

Other News or Whatever

I can’t really write right now. But I wanna say thank you for my frist real comment. (AKA people should comment more =p). Thank you for the 300 total views.

Also I will write more life facts blogs but right now its 1:12 am here and I’m tired and I want to sleep.

New NewZ

I think I have a plot line for this story blog I’m writing so if I get bored and have time after updating here of course I’ll add a new blogs and such and work the kinks and start on my story.

Well, I love you all. But I’m going to pass out.

-Lex
P.s. – Barry is sleeping and I want to too.
p.S. – I miss talking in my sleep and sleeping with Barry.
P.S. – I think I have a sleeping disorder. 

Hey,

Its been a while!!! I thought I’d update!

I’m 17!!! My birthday was Monday, June 4th. All I have to say is I have to get my head straighten on. I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do with myself. That way, I’m not a bum. So I though I need a job! I told my mum and we figured we’d ask Cody (My stepbrother) if he could get me a job at the pizza place he works. Sense his my stepbrother and the closest thing I’ve had to a brother. Also cause his an assistant manager or a manager which means he could probably get me a job easily there. Hopefully! 

           I’ve been thinking that I want to travel go on a road trip during the summer I turn 18. So I want to save money for that.

          Not much has happened. Besides me being a lazy bum. Which theres nothing wrong with that. But it makes me feel useless.

        I’m lonely too. No sister (She is at a friends house. Not that you need to know that.) No Barry (Who knows where his at.) So I’m bored too. Loneliness + Boredom = Bad!!!

       Also to anyone who views this blog (I don’t really know why you would view it. Its a bit dull) comment back.

      I want comments for…..~LIST TIME!~

COMMENT REASON LIST
1. Feedback (Like is it stupid boring or just BLECH)
2. Advice (Should I fix something? Should I talk about the world? Politics? Animals? HELP)
3. Relationships(I want to meet people plainly so comment and I’ll reply and we could be friends or enemies whichever you perfer)
4. How Can I help you comments (I like giving advice so have a problem ask moi/me and I’ll help you)
5. Feedback for YOU (Comment me ask to view your site, cause I really don’t know how to make friends on this so looking at your site might teach me or just make me like yours.)

I think thats it. Hehe SO COMMENT. I know I sound desperate. Sorry!

Love ya,
Lex o.O
P.s I sound like a nutcase!

Hey, Lex here!

             So whats up? Well not alot here I guess. Hmp, I don’t know its all kinda weird. My lifes been up and down and turnaround. Lol btw (By The Way) thats from Hellogoodbye. I love them. Thanks Spencer. I fell in love with them after hearing at his myspace. Did I mention before? I hate myspace.

             So not much has happened. I don’t think, if it has I really don’t feel like talking about it AKA I don’t care.

              My birthday is this Monday and it should be thrilling. No not really so far no presents and if any. The party is that Saturday on June 9th.

               Then on June 11th Chuy (his nickname aka Josive? Jesus? w.e) is going to be staying my family for a week. I’m nervous cause we grew up together and his my age and I haven’t seen him in forever. I have to share my room with my little sister. Which is very YUCK! But what can I do. I’m just a girl.

               So lukettylwillie, I’ve fallen in love with his videos cause his acting is awesome and he reminds me of the bear. So I really want to make youtube vids and I’m so jealous of him. But what can you do? Not to mention I looked at his stickam (Ha, I am not a stalker. I commented his vid and he replied and I was like he seems nice maybe I should talk to him and I perfer stickam to myspace even though I use neither. So I looked for it and found him. Ok, slightly stalkerish but I’m just nosy and really lonelly when Barry isn’t around so its really sad. But I think I’ve become antisocial and don’t know how to socialize this is why I used to use TrueChat. Anyway!) I was looking at his stickam profile and I fell in love. No not with him. With the song in his profile. AKA Bittersweet Symphony!!!! It ROCKS!

               So yeah. Hm….what else to talk about. Lol, I’m boring.

               Oh yeah mine and Barry’s anniversary for a year happened. We did nothing cause that week we were having a grouch fest. Still kinda are. I have my friend and Bear well its his time of the month too. Lol! He doesn’t have a friend but he is kinda like  having sympathy pains if you think about it cause I have it too. Usually tho its a week before my friend then happiness. So we aren’t grouchy anymore. Just finding time to be with eachother is slightly difficult recently but we’re working it out. Alls good. Really. I hope it is. I don’t know. We’ve been watching films. Great ones yesterday. Some scary funny and way out there. They really are fun to watch with him though. I love Mister Snookie. Hehe. He said his going to send my a present and I know he has it but he need a box so its nothing to get here for a while yet. I’m counting a month. It pisses me off and he knowas and then it pisses him off and then we argue and then we both feel bad and we apologize. I guess we have an argueing routine cause I do it so much.

                        But its cause A) I admit it I like pouting and slightly argueing B) He pisses me off and C) If we don’t argue its strange for me, I mean I can’t tell him things that I can’t say directly if we don’t argue. I don’t know I like arguing its part of a relationship. I love him and I don’t do it to hurt him its just…..I’m a nut case. Plain and simple. But his patient and loving and I appreciate everything he does for me. Theres no one like the bear. I adore him but its just who I am. Not to mention if he tried to change who I was……we wouldn’t be together cause I believe if you love someone even if they have things like arguing you’ll stick through it cause their worth it. I want the bear to feel like I’m worth it. I don’t know if I am. But I try to change myself a little to fit him even though I’m not good at change but I try. Cause my bear is so worth it and so much more. I wish he knew.

                 Oh yeah, I sent him the link to this cause the whole suicidal thing scared me. I was sad depressed mad and I don’t rememeber why anymore. I have multiple personalites not really but I have very strong emotions. I’m slightly bipolar so yeah. Drama MINX.

                  Hehe, I’m so sick of talking about me. So I’ll finish talking about me soon and talk about something else. 

                 So school is over. I passed my OGT’s (Ohio Graduation Tests). I got two advanced in Math and Social Studies. Also I got Accelerated in Science, Writing, and Reading AKA the three subjects I suck at. So I didn’t need to take my Algebra2, English10, American History, and Biology exams. Then the art teachers decided if your a sophmore and passed all your OGTs you are excempt (or however you spell it) from that exam. Then Yinger (Keyboarding teacher) said that too soo…..
THIS IS MY NORMAL SCHEDULE
Per. 1 – Alg2
Per. 3- Spa2 (Spanish)
Per. 5/6 – Bio A/B (Advance Bio)
Per. 7/8- Eng10
Per.  9/10 -Keyboarding
Per. 11 – Intro to Art
Per. 12 -U.S History
THIS IS THE EXAM SCHEDULE
Friday June 1st
Per 1 – Per 1/ Alg2
Per 2 – Per 3/ Spa2
Per 3 – Lunch
Per 4 – Per 12/ Hist
Monday June 4th
Per 1 – Per 5-6/ Bio
Per 2 – Per 9-10/ KeyB
Tuesday June 5th (Also Last Day Of School)
Per 1 -Per 7-8/ Eng10
Per 2 – Per 11/ Art
THIS IS MY SCHEDULE
Friday June 1st
Per 1 – NO EXAM
Per 2 – Spa
Per 3 - NO EXAM
Per 4 – NO EXAM
Monday June 4th
Per 1 – NO EXAM
Per 2 – NO EXAM
Tuesday June 5th
Per 1 - NO EXAM
Per 2 – NO EXAM

             So, you see I go or went to school today for my only exam aka Spa. Which I speak fluently and was EASY. I went for Per 2 and left after it and that was my last day of school cause I don’t have to go on Monday or Tuesday which is very woot woot !

That it about my life, lets talk about someone elses or facts.

My sister went to camp wilson and she had fun. Woot!

Barry knows about my blog and he thinks it feeds me. (the layout)

Mum is cooking dinner and yelling at me about cleaning the house during the summer.

Kelly, my dog, has disappeared. (Not really.)

Brookers videos suck now.

I know I’m not suppose to mention me but my hand hurts of typing. I should stop but I like the way it feels when you type your thoughts. Moving on….

This blog is stupid. I will call it that.

Can I go now! PLEASE! Grr… youstupid blogg.

FTljusdfgbkjghnfjdgdesfjndfhdrgb….sorry I lost my mind its been killed by this never ending blog. Wheres BARRY!??!?!?!

Goodbye now! Have a great day!
*creepy smile*

I love you all very much,
Lex

P.s. I say so alot.
p.S. Its alot of bullshit said.
P.s. I like making list, I’m sorry please forgive me.
P.s. Sorry, for the long list of tags I have for this blog in the categories thing, boredom.

Its been offly long, I’m really tired. But I came home at 11 am!!! *squeals* I’ll explain in a second.

So…Hey

~Last last or w.e last last last something week.
I don’t remember but I was sick and it was just craziness. I really didn’t feel good and this whole doctor its kinda bluah now. But I feel much better now

~Last Week
I was realling cranky at Barry. Like we were having fun but the slightest thing near the night would piss me off and we would start arguing. But thats nothing new me and him argue more and better then any couple I know. Which I like because it does mean we care and it happens in every healthy relationship. Plus he loves me and he has patience for me and he understands that I’m nut case. Ok, I’m not a nut case. But he does call me fruit cause I spasm easily. Lol, I’m a mood swinger. Rwar! I’m so lucky to have a guy like him be able to put with me. I figured out why I was cranky though. I always get cranky a week before my friend. Its just how he works. My friend had gone missing for 2 months and I was so excited to find out I got him back. Yes, I know a girl actually wanting to have her friend. By the way by my friend, its not literal! But I was starting to get scared. I was freaking going “Oh my god! I’m virgin marry.” Barry had a  good laugh at me when I told him I wasn’t no virgin mary. The nut case! Kidding. I do talk about him enough. *sighs* But his my world. What would I do without him? Who would I be without him? Where would I be? How would I feel? Easy, I couldn’t do anything without him, I would be no one without him, I’d be dying something without him, and I would be dead and crushed. Sorry, we have a strong bond. People don’t understand….:( some of my friends that know about him kind of think it

SO SORRY I HAD TO GO AND I COULDNT FINISH I TRY I REALLY DO JUST ITS BEEN SO CRAZY LATELY FORGIVE ME!!!

Hey, here I am again.
               Thought I would stop by while Barry was sleeping.

~So last night was fun.

When I left I just talked to Barry for a while then had dinner. My mom was going to the grocery store so we had to make dinner cause she wasn’t going to. So my sister, Jj, got the pan ready and I put the food on it. So, it would get cooked in the oven. My sister kept track of the food putting out and all that. She didn’t burn it and it was good. So I was happy. Then I came back upstairs to talk to Barry on my comp. or lappy as I say. We watched Pans Labby. Its a REALLY good film. Its deffinately a much watch film. We were so happy then we were talking about something. That just made me think bad thoughts. About us we were talking about our age and I was asking him if it was really that big of a deal. He said it was like, “Emily and her bf. People saying that she shouldn’t be with him because his black. But what bussiness is it of people to tell her that its her life.” He said then, “Its none of their bussiness, if she loves him why would it matter. Its the same with us. Other people might notes our age difference. But we don’t. We are perfectly fine with our ages its not a big deal to us, so it doesn’t matter. Plus, you should worry more about our difference.” He laughed, it was sweet what he said but it just made me think that we have really big differences and how could it work. Also, that he might not like me because of those differences. I became sad and I was grumpy at him for having said. He realized and he gave me little kisses. I didn’t kiss back, I always kiss him and say I love him cause  I do no matter what. So I go, “Is it bad we’re really different? I always thought it made things interesting” and he goes its not bad its just difficult trying to find things we both like. This he said was because one of us one to do something and the other whats to do something else. I kept silent my brain was still analyze everything to a tee. He hates that, he doesn’t mind it but he hates it. This because I’m a negative person, no he didn’t say or would ever say it to me I just know I am sense before him its just who I am. He hates it because as I negative person analyzing things sometimes makes me take things the wrong way which in turn makes him look like a bad guy and makes me mad at him. This is when we start to fight. Its not fighting, fighting but petty little arguements. Where, most of the time I yell at him, rant or say mean things because I thought he said something mean to me, did something wrong, or grumped at me. I’m too spoiled and his created a monster. We don’t fight so much though. Well we did this week and thats because I’ve been grumpy easily. Mood swing, Lex.  Anyway I became grumpy and he kissed me more to cheer me up. It usually works and he said it does make things interesting though. Then I just kept quiet like if I was falling asleep and he just listen to my breathing. I always fall asleep on him. Its the only way I can sleep now a days. If he isnt here, I can’t sleep. So I told him he should go to bed, he tried to protest, but he would do anything even leave to keep me happy. That and well he was tired. He soon went to bed, I went downstairs. I stole the remote for the TV and went to SOD(ShowtimeOnDemand) after flipping through channels of course deciding to watch Dexter. It was really good, so after a while my mom and sis that are still up start going ooo what she watching and come over and start watching. I had to pause it a couple times to explain it to them. So we decided to watch the 2nd Episode after finishing the first. The begin with him shaving and making breakfast ABSOLUTELY discussed it my mom and sis. I was going whats so wrong with it, its just breakfast. They were like yeah, but the representation of killing and blood. I laughed at them. The show looks pretty vial. But its not its kinda funny and unique very interesting and just out there. I loved it. Adding it to my list of shows. Ooo…list time!

~~SHOW LIST—I’ll add more later when I can think

1. Dexter
2. Big Love
3. Gilmore Girls
4. Little People, Big World
5. Honey We’re Killing The Kids
6. Doctor Who
7. TorchWood

–Cut to Last Night
So, I love Dexter now. If I didn’t say that before the list. Sorry, I’m a list person. I like making list and organizing things. Although you will not see my room ever be organized. Its my own very special place where I have a mess because it frees my soul to know I’m not a total anal person. Just because you act something doesn’t mean you are. Soon, after we finally went to bed at like 3:30am. Barry was gone and I had only my Ipod (Its a nano) to keep me company. Which made me fall asleep about 30 mins to an hour later. Usually longer, but I was tired and had a headache. My body was aching for sweet slumber.

–TODAY

I woke up late, no surprise there. I woke up at around 11:27 am. Which is pretty late. I got on the com, Barry is on but his not there so I quickly slipped into the blog and made this blog to update you and not feel so lonelly. Its 12:03 and I’ve been writing this blog for a little over 20 mins.

I should go a new day is waiting and I need to type an essay for english YUCK! But I like the Dover Beach Poem Lots! So, that better be a good sign. I’ll see you later. I’ll probably rant about somethikng else.

I LOVE YOU ALL!